350 Days Left: Tastes Like Chicken

Planning a wedding menu is about as much fun, as taking said menu and giving yourself multiple paper-cuts between your fingers, and then rubbing lemon sorbet on them... which won't be a problem. since you just agreed to have a sorbet bar at your wedding dinner. It's painful enough to come up with passed hor-dourves, appetizers, soups, salads, meal, desserts, ect, without also having to come up with an option for all of your guests who are vegetarian, vegan, kosher, lactose intolerant, have a peanut allergy, sensitivity to gluten, or are just difficult for the sake of being difficult.

In a perfect wedding world, everyone would just get a giant bowl of mystery food, and the waiter would just tell people what they wanted/needed to hear. "This is tofu from Bangladesh, with a peanut-free broth, and was prepared by an army of rabbis from Israel who also hate gluten. Enjoy."

It used to be "Chicken or Fish?" Then it became "Beef, Chicken, or Fish?" These days, it's like you have to come up with 10 different options involving every possible dietary restriction any of your guests or their free-loading dates may possibly have. I'd prefer to go with a SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST mentality. If a guest at my wedding easts a piece of sushi that kills them an hour later while they are cabbage-patching on the dance floor, then it's probably for the betterment of society... and my brunch count the next morning.