Friday, May 20, 2011

337 Days Left: "Congratulations"

After getting engaged, lots of people say "Congratulations." Why? All I did was spend more money then I have on an over-priced shiny finger cuff. People should say "Ouch" or "I'm sorry." Getting engaged is not "congratulations worthy." Getting a new 60" 3D HD TV, however...

Women congratulate each other because no woman wants to be alone, old, and  have to kill spiders by herself. For women, getting engaged is like acquiring an exterminator, security system, repair man, and sky-cap, all in one.

  "Congratulations" are in order when you first have sex with your girl, when you find out she's not actually pregnant (just bad sushi), when she is actually pregnant (when on purpose), and when you get a house with enough rooms for your single friends to freeload at. Other than that, let's all go easy on the CONGRATULATIONS.

"What are the odds he's also a Dirty Dancing buff?" 

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