365 Days Left: Let the Countdown Begin

Since my birth, I have been single for exactly 11,418 days, and I only have 365 left (maybe 366 if it's a leap year). Don't get me wrong; I'm excited about getting married, watching my creepy uncle dance with my friends, and getting a bunch of napkin holders that I'll never use, but I'm not so excited about the next 365 days: Fittings, tastings, meetings, fighting, registering, thanking, returning, ect. 


This process is supposed to prepare a couple for a "lifetime of decision making and compromise." I have a feeling, however, that like having prison sex with a large black man,  it's just going to be a giant pain in the ass.

And, lucky you [stranger on the inter-webs], you get to come with me every step of the way. From this moment until the moment I say "I do," you will get a man's perspective on everything from buying an overpriced cake, to cutting my guest list down based on which friends of mine will be most likely not to force sex on my sisters. 

If you are married (or divorced), you've been through this. If you are single (or dating), you'll go through this eventually. If you are gay (or bi-curious), consider yourself lucky that you may never have to go through this. And, if you are my future wife, thank you for letting me share this experience with millions and/or seven people.

365 days until I am officially "off the market." Nights of eating Hot Pockets at 2am for dinner will be replaced with 8pm 5 course meals consisting of foods like baby spinach and pine nuts. Yippee! As, I said before, I am excited about getting married, it's the next year that scares the shit out of me...

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