359 Days Left: The word "fiancee" Stinks like French...

I love pretty much everything about my fiancee. I also HATE pretty much everything about the word "fiancee." Didn't we beat the French in enough wars that we can come up with an English word for "a chick you have promised not to cheat on anymore?" The world "fiancee" sounds so aristocratic and stuffy. This is not the royal wedding that I'm planning, nor is my girlfriend royalty, aside from occasionally being a royal pain in the ass.

Yet, it seems like when engaged guys refer to their future wife as anything other than "fiancee," they get the stink eye. Calling you my "girlfriend," "roomate," or "future ex-wife" should be at least partially acceptable.

I don't use the word "fiancee" to describe my girlfriend, in the same way I don't use the world "escargot" every time I see a snail crawling on the sidewalk. It is a stupid word just like "doilies" is for placemat, and "apple" is for a kid's name. Why can't us Americans come up with a better word for the woman who is going to be your wife? Pre-wife, wifeish, or Cock-Block are a good starting place.

I'm not so ethnocentric that I think we need to call French fries "freedom fries," or French toast "delicious," however, how about every time I introduce my pre-wife to someone, I don't need to sound like I'm going to a tea party on the Titanic (which may be a pretty good way to look at a wedding anyway).